Found my heart and broke it here
by sydney563
Summary: Inspired by Ed Sheeran, it's a one shot. Lauren reminisces on her drive home.


**N: this was rolling in my head. I love that new Ed Sheeran song Castle on the hill and this came out of it. It's not very good, but I need a break from editing and rewriting the last chapter of Blitz, which i hope to have up next week. So, read on and enjoy!**

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It felt incredible being back on the old roads that would take me home. I leaned back in the driver's seat, draping my hand out the open window, letting the wind flow through my fingers. The sun was bright, warm, and soaked into my bones as I passed cows in a field. I grinned at the animals, relishing in the strange freedom being out of the city gave me. I was literally in the middle of nowhere, middle of America, with nothing but cornfields in the horizon. Every breath I took was filled with crisp air and it made me happy I was driving back home. Leaving my hectic life in New York City, to take a few weeks off and go home.

Home.

A place I hadn't been in almost fifteen years. I left the day I graduated from high school and never looked back, until now. Home was a place filled with so many memories, some good, a few bad, and a few that made my heart skip to this day. I pushed my sunglasses up, thinking about the friends I left behind in our one stop sign town. My best friend, Carol, still lived in the old farmhouse her grandparents built in the 1900's. I chuckled, they had a barn we used to climb the roof of, so we could sit and pick out the constellations at night. It was those nights that sparked my interest in science, carrying me through the rest of my life. Carol was at my medical school graduation, clapping louder than my parents, tears streaming down her face. I was excited to see her and her new baby.

Carol introduced me to Will when we were in junior high. A cute boy, with a cute smile who liked me, but sadly made me realize I wasn't into boys when he tried to kiss me on the roof one summer when we were fourteen. Carol, Will, and I were the three musketeers. Always together in school, always together after school. We'd go to Carol's choir practices, my science fairs, and to Will's football games. Will and Carol married two years ago. I was her maid of honor and clapped louder than her parents when they kissed.

Through Will, I met Bo.

I grinned like a stupid fool in the car, shaking my head as I caught the blush on my cheeks in the rearview mirror. Bo, Ysabeau McCorrigan, was Will's third cousin from the town over. She was a year older than all of us, and had a car. I met her on the fourth of July when I was sixteen. A day I would never forget. Bo rolling up the dirt driveway in her dad's rusty old Ford truck. Her brown hair blowing in the wind as she sang Pat Bentar songs. I shook my head again, pushing my sunglasses back on as I leaned forward, looking for the sign telling me home was around the next corner. The second Bo shook my hand, I knew I liked girls. Particularly, the girl with the biggest smile this side of the bible belt.

I reached over, turning up the radio as Pat Bentar happened to land next in the playlist. Bo made our threesome into a foursome, and she fascinated me. She would hang out with us every weekend, and come out to our science fairs, choir practices, and football games. Bo was amazing. She was wild, brave, strong, beautiful, and loved poking fun at me. Things I'd never experienced in my short life out in the middle of nowhere. She would poke fun at how much I loved science, telling me when I became a doctor, I'd have to buy her fancy dinners once a month for the rest of our lives. I brushed it off, but secretly prayed I would make it as doctor so I could see Bo once a month. My crush was instant, and it took two years for me to fall hopelessly in love with the girl from one town over. Carol was the first one to spot it, noticing the way I would ignore the world and watch every move Bo made.

"Lauren, you better do something about that crush before it gets you into trouble." She gave me a smile wrapped in a concerned look. "Bo has a boyfriend. He plays football for the University."

I shrugged, picking at the bottom of my shoes. "I don't have a crush. We have fun together. That's all." I glanced at Carol, praying to god she didn't see how red my face was. "We only ever hang out with you and Will. There's nothing going on." I looked back at Bo laughing with Will, turning just at the right second to make eye contact with me. My heart leapt into my throat as her smile turned into a huge grin, making my stomach wiggle in that way all the romance movies talk about. I cleared my throat, "Nothing to worry about, Carol."

Carol chuckled. "That tells me I have everything to worry about." She stood up, squeezing my shoulder, before joining Will and Bo on the hood of her truck.

Carol was right. A few months later, Bo and I started hanging out alone. Carol had picked up a part time job, and Will was helping his family out on the farm. It started out as going for ice cream where Carol worked, or driving around the town talking about school and what was next. Then it shifted to going to the movies, sitting in her truck for hours outside my house and sharing our deepest dreams and fears. I felt something growing between us, but I was too young to know if it was a friendship strengthening, or something more. Either way, I knew I had fallen in love with Bo long ago, and I still had yet to admit it to myself. I would memorize the way Bo smelled, the way she laughed, the way she said my name, and go to bed every night replaying it. I would often day dream what it would be like to trade places with her boyfriend, Cal, for a few weeks. If only for the fact I really wanted to kiss Bo.

Then three days after my seventeenth birthday, Bo and I were sitting on the roof of my house, staring at the stars. She had bought me a couple of hot dogs at Will's football game, followed by ice cream with Carol. We ended up on the roof, Bo talking about the so-called boyfriend she'd been sort of dating. "I broke up with Cal last week." She tipped her head down, fidgeting with her fingers.

"Oh?" I swallowed hard, taking notice of how close Bo was sitting next to me. Our legs touching. We always sat close, but now I was hyper aware of it. "How'd he take it?" I forced the words out, I could care less about the jerk.

Bo looked up and I could feel her staring at the side of my face. "He didn't seem to care. Even after I told him that there was someone else. Someone else I liked more than him." She scooted a little closer as silence fell between us.

I swallowed again, my heart skipping at the warmth of her leg pressed against mine. "Oh?" I didn't want to ask who it was. It would be another football player in this town, probably the scruffy one Will hated. I lifted my arm, pointing at the sky. "There's Orion's belt. You know the story behind how they named it?"

"It's you, Lauren." Bo blurted the words out like she was popping a balloon.

It was as if time stopped and I was frozen. The sound all fell out of my ears, and I swore I heard a ringing. "Um, the story is…"

Bo grabbed my arm, pulling me to look at her. "Lauren, Its you I like." I heard the tremble in her voice.

I turned to face Bo, her eyes filling with tears as she smiled weakly. "Its you." She shrugged. "I know you might not feel the same, but I can't hold it back anymore. We graduate this fall, and you're going off to New York for college. I'm going to who knows where, I haven't bothered to fill out any applications for school." She took in a huge breath. "But I like you. I've always liked you, from the first time I met you, and it's grown to something that sits in the bottom of my heart like a beautiful rock." She paused, looking at me for a reaction. I knew I was staring at her like a deer in headlights, slowly processing everything. She slowly let go of my arm, tucking her hand under her legs as she pushed up to stand. "I'm going to go. I had to tell you what I felt, Lauren. I think you're beautiful, the smartest person I've ever met. You have a big heart that always has room for anyone who needs it, and every time I see you, my day gets better. No matter how terrible it started, you always make it better. You make everything better." Bo brushed the back of her jeans off. "Happy birthday, Lauren. I have a gift for you, but I think I'll leave it on the porch when I go."

She turned to walk across the roof to the ladder we set up. I could hear her sigh in defeat as she shuffled across the gritty roof.

I was seventeen, not a clue about what came next in life, but I knew one thing. Bo McCorrigan had told me she liked me, and I liked her. It was simple math, one plus one equals two. I hopped up to my feet and called out. "Bo! Wait!"

She paused, turning around to face me. She was smiling painfully, her arms folded across her chest. "It's okay, Lauren."

I took a few steps towards her, acting on pure instinct, and maybe hormones, grabbed her face and kissed her as best as I knew how. I startled the poor girl, making her squeak before she held onto my arms and kissed me back. It wasn't a spectacular kiss, since I'd never kissed anyone before, but it was one that I will remember for the rest of my life. It was a kiss that opened a new chapter in my life for the rest of that year.

Bo and I dated quietly, only Carol and Will knowing we were together. It was the best six months of my life. Then we graduated high school. Will went to Texas to play college football. Carol went to Michigan for nursing. I headed to the Big Apple for premed, and eventually medical school. Bo was accepted to a college in Virginia for political science. Because we were young and stupid, Bo and I broke up. Both agreeing that long distance and demanding school schedules was a bad idea for a young relationship. It was my idea, I didn't want to tie Bo down and have her sit and wait for the next twelve years as I became a doctor.

I saw the look in her eyes, I broke her heart into a million pieces even though she told me she understood and agreed. She hugged me at the train station until Will pulled her away when my train arrived. She kissed me on the cheek and whispered out a goodbye before running back to the car. Leaving Carol and Will to give me dirty looks and call me stupid for trying to be an adult, when it was clear Bo and I were soulmates. I cried for days in my tiny apartment in New York, knowing I had made the biggest mistake in my life. One for breaking up with her, two for never telling her how in love I was with her.

We tried to be friends, writing letters for a few months. But that fell apart when my schedule became hectic, and she got a part time job. Time and distance became our enemies, and soon, we drifted further apart. I drifted from all of my friends, only managing to stay in touch with Carol, as she demanded I call her at least once a month to let her know I was alive.

I let out a sigh, making that last turn that would take me to the main street in town. That main street would take me to the winding dirt road to Carol's house. I frowned as the sad memories filtered in, all of the amplified by the town that appeared to be frozen in time. I was older and saw how incredibly stupid I was to break up with Bo. I never stopped thinking about her, even when I tried to date others. They never matched the way I felt about the girl from one town over. So much time had passed, that when I tried to reconnect with Bo, I couldn't. She was living in D.C. as a congressional aid, and thriving. Carol filled me in on Bo's life, her work, and the woman she was currently dating. I suffered in silence, saying I was happy for the girl, and we should plan a foursome reunion. Deep down, I knew I lost Bo years ago, and yet I couldn't shake her. When I would tell my friends in New York about Bo, they'd make fun of me. Saying it was a six-month high school romance, everyone has those and moves on. I would nod and agree. Yes, it was just six months, but it felt like a lifetime and I felt incomplete without Bo.

Another handful of years passed in a blink of an eye. I was now an attending at a research hospital, living out my dream. Then one night last fall, I got a phone call from an unknown phone number. I answered it, thinking it was someone at the hospital. "Dr. Lewis?"

"Hello Dr. Lewis, I think you owe me a few dinners?" The second I heard her voice, I turned into that seventeen year old. My heart skipping in my chest like a bouncy ball.

"Bo?"

"The one and only." Her tone was soft, riddled with nerves. "Um, I saw Carol last week. She gave me your number and told me to call you." She laughed lightly. "How are you? Besides being an amazing doctor. Carol told me everything you've been up to over the years."

I let out a shaky breath. "Good. I'm good." I turned to look out the window of my huge apartment in the city. "I was just thinking about you."

I could almost hear the smile in her voice. "You were? I haven't stopped thinking about you for fourteen years, Lauren. I've missed you so much." She paused. "You know I was in love with you, right?" She blurted the words out, just like she did on my roof all those years ago.

I grinned wider than I had in years, fate, or Carol, was pushing me. Pushing me to fix the things I'd broken as a dumb teenager. "I fell in love with you first, Bo. The second you shook my hand, I was done for."

I tapped the steering wheel, snaking through that dirt road to Carol's. Bo and I spoke on the phone for five hours that night, and it was like no time had passed between us. There was new sense of ease with her. Maybe it was the fact I finally let my heart speak, maybe it was because I was an adult that new time and distance was mere bumps in the road, or maybe it was the fact I had found my soul mate again. We shared weekly phone calls that became daily phone calls. I would fly out to D.C. to see her, and she would spend weekends with me in Manhattan. I kept my promise, and took her to dinner every chance I got. Our young love still there, but growing into something impenetrable. Bo had grown up, but the parts of her I fell in love with as a kid, remained. She was still wild, brave, beautiful, and poked fun of my love of medicine.

Pulling into the small driveway, I grinned, waving to Carol as she sat on the porch with Will. Bo sitting on the white railing, her legs swinging as the setting sun covered her in a soft glow. I parked the car and hopped out of the driver's seat. Will ran up to me, wrapping me in a huge bear hug. "Lauren! It's so good to see you! Carol and I have plans to hit all the old haunts this week! Ice cream at swirly top, beers under the goal post at the football field." He set me down, pointing at the barn. "And star gazing like we did."

I laughed, patting Will's back. "Sounds amazing." Will quickly shoved me towards the house, telling me he would grab my bags. I held my grin walking towards the porch. "How's little Mia?"

Carol smiled, holding her daughter up for me to take a look. "Sleeping. That's all she does. Sleep, then cry when I want to sleep."

I laughed, bending down to look at the tiny little baby. "Babies do that." I turned to look at Bo, holding out my hand for her to take. "Hey you."

She grinned, blushing as she slid off the railing, taking my hand. "I still don't know why you wanted to drive. I got her six hours ago and had to sit through Will retelling his college football glory days." She leaned forward, kissing me solidly as I melted into her arms. She parted, looking in my eyes with pure love.

I ran my hand down the side of her face, "I drove to take a break from the city, and destress." I kissed her once more. "It gave me time to think back on our lives and how we got here." I paused before whispering, "I love you, Bo."

Bo whispered it back, sliding her arms around my waist to pull us closer together. "Carol, can you tell Will, your husband, to ease up on the football stories?"

Carol laughed, shaking her head. "It's the price you have to pay for having your wedding in our barn, Bo." She shifted Mia before standing up. "Plus, he's your cousin. You tell him to knock it off." She walked towards the front door as Will walked up with my bags. "You kids have your reunion, then come inside. I need your help finishing up the seating for the reception."

I shook my head, barely paying attention as I held Bo. "We're getting married tomorrow, Bo."

She nodded against my chest. "We are, and it will be the fourth greatest day of my life."

I leaned back, a confused look on my face. "Fourth?"

Bo tilted her head up, smirking. "Yup. First day was when we first met. Second was when you kissed me for the first time, third was that late-night call to you in New York. Fourth will be when I say I do and marry the love of my life." She kissed me deeply, "I love you, Lauren. Fifteen years and counting."

She walked out of my arms, pulling my hand to follow her. "But we're flying home, I'm not driving for eighteen hours. I love you, but I cannot be trapped in a car for that long."

I laughed, looking up into the darkening sky and catching the edges of orion's belt forming. "Anything for you, Ysabeau."


End file.
